The location of the Mini Schauzer Club’s den is a secret known only to a select few. It’s hidden away under a table in a corner of the house, reached through a secret door in the kitchen, followed by a trek through the conservatory.

This is where they hold their daily morning meetings and ponder on life’s great mysteries…like what happened to all the bones? Did we really eat them all yesterday? And still no decision about whether to grant honorary membership to Billywhizz.